"You do ill if you praise, but worse if you censure what you do not understand." - Leonardo daVinci

Monday, June 28, 2010

In Order to Live

In order to live, you must fail at something. To win at everything is not living, that's like sleeping your way through life. I've had to learn the hard way that you HAVE to stop and breathe, you have to throw everything to the wind and say fuck it, sometimes. I do believe that nothing is a coincidence, that some things are just meant to be, some people you aren't meant to meet, but Life is busy, you have to take the incentive sometimes and help craft your own destiny.

Friday, June 25, 2010

Article on JRM


Boy Charts

In high school, I think it was the 11th or 12th grade that I decided to try and find my type statistically. So i made all these charts of the guys I had crushes on spanning my high school career. I had charts on hair color, eye color, skin shades (not just color, shades), personalities, ages and I had other charts relating the previous charts to what I was doing at that time, what my style was, what type of music I liked, etc. So I saw my type change over a couple of years and it mostly related to the type of music I was listening to. When I listened mainly to rock music I preferred white guys with shaggy hair that were older than me. However, when I changed to r&b music being the preferred choice, my type of men shifted to dark skinned African Americans with big lips and that were also older. I found out a lot of things, but that was the one thing that stood out the most.

I'm so fucking odd.

I think I might make charts again, from 2007 to now and see how and if it's changed. I like to make charts for some reason.

Random Hairyness

Daniel Radcliffe hates when people chew gum? That's so fucking strange lol, what a freak. But I'm a freak too, so I'm not talking shit here.

Mona Lisa's Secret

So the Mona Lisa does have eyebrows, they were just barely there to begin with and age has made her appear with no eyebrows. I read that orignally her smile, face width, and eyes were also somewhat different. I've always wondered if she had a veil on her head and it looks as if she does. People put so much effort into their extensive theories on the Mona Lisa, just like people who believe in UFOs are obssessed with government conspiracies.

Thursday, June 24, 2010

My Hero! My Heroine!

Soup and Poppies

I'm so fuckin bored with my life.

Idea - PING!

I know there are a million anthologies out there, but I'm not really the romantic but I've had this idea of making a collection of love letters, it's part romance but also part getting a chance to peek into someone's life, you know you read about people but there's so much distance between us, reading something written in their hand, that contains information so intimate, that person starts to change from being a historical figure to an actual person (and I'm talking about love letters from famous dead people, gracefully put I might add) just like the 17 letters written to Anne Boleyn from King Henry VIII, but I would love to go to the Vatican and see them for myself, I wonder if all the letters are on display and if you can copy them. I see copies online, so they leaked from somewhere. And it would be beautifully bound with gold tipped pages and intricate designs and little intros on the relationships themselves, I could also add love letters from modern people that allow it. Just an idea I would love to start.

Wednesday, June 23, 2010

Ricky Gervais Guide to the World Cup

Ricky - "It was a big, fat bloke right...and he was massive right and I think it was 1990, er, 1992 when England got knocked out and he went mental.  And he was so angry, he went out and he wanted retrobution, okay, luckily there were no German people around but the closest he could find was a sausage van, so poor bloke who delivered sausages. And he turned it over, he got the van and he turned it over cuz he was selling sausages so he thought that's German enough."

Karl - "Well if he's fat then he was probably just mad that it wasn't open."

Amsterdam December 2010

I'm going to come back to this blog, but me and my best friend made plans to travel to Amsterdam this Christmas, so I bought a small Frommer's guide book. To me, most of the fun of going someplace new is stumbling upon extraordinary finds on accident, not walking around with my nose shoved in a guide book, telling me what to do and where to eat and where to stay. I love Eurotrip and I've wanted to go to Amsterdam ever since I saw that movie, I don't want to be tricked in painful sexual fetishes, but I've just been intrigued. I've never been outside the Americas, so this should be great =)


I was riding in the car with my best friend going home from the Museum of Death ($15 to get in, free parking) in Hollywood, CA and I see this big billboard, a gas station. It was a big white board and in big letters it said something like, We kept this board plain so you can keep your eyes on the road, and in small print on the bottom it says the gas station is on the driver's side.... Sooo... yada yada nonsense is blasted in big letters, drivers taking their eyes off the road to read the billboard sees bullshit that is unneccessary and yet they have to squint to read the information they NEED to know... How pointless.

Ricky Gervais

Just finished the Ricky Gervais podcast, love it. Until my on-demand works again, I have to finish the animated show based on the same show. <3

Check it out.

Jonathon Rhys Meyers

Every once in a while I'll find an actor, I'll watch a few things and this same actor will just happen to be in them and I'll be very intrigued to see their list of filmography and watch (almost) all of them. I'm not a big celebrity person, I don't care about their fashions, opinions, or personal lives. But sometimes, I'll come across someone and be fascinated by their approach to their craft. A lot of actors (and other artists) just follow down their career path because they want to be famous or they like the money... That's not a real actor to me, a real actor spawns from the ideals of those who once ventured on stage to act out plays, read from banned scripts, perform when no one was watching, only to be spit on or insulted all because it was their passion. And every once in a while, I'll see an actor that is a real actor by my definition and get online so I can google the filmography, just like I'm doing with Meyers (and will soon be doing with Ben Foster).
"It`s not about money, fame, people knowing you. It`s not even about enjoying yourself and being happy. It`s about achieving something that`s brilliant, creating something that`s brilliant, for other people. For yourself, you`re always going to be unsatisfied, but if somebody comes up to me and says, `That was a brilliant part, and I really, really got it`. That`s essentially it."

The Killer Tongue - Rudolph
The Disappearace of Finbar - Finbar
Michael Collins - Collin's assassin
 Samson and Delilah - Young Samson
The Maker - Josh
Telling Lies in America - Kevin
Velvet Goldmine - Brian
The Governess - Henry
B. Monkey - Bruno
The Tribe - Adam
The Loss of Sexual Innocence - Nic
Ride With the Devil - Pitt
Titus - Chiron
Prozac Nation - Noah
Tangled - Alan
Happy Now - Mark
Bend It Like Beckham - Joe
The Tesseract - Sean
Octane - The Father
I'll Sleep When I'm Dead - Davey
The Emperor's Wife - The Chamberlain
The Lion in Winter - King Phillip II
Vanity Fair - George
Alexander - Cassander
Match Point - Chris
Elvis - Elvis
Mission Impossible III - Declan
August Rush - Louis
The Children of Huang Shi - George
A Film With Me In It - Pierce
Shelter - Adam
From Paris with Love - James
A Swim at Two Birds - (2010) IN PRODUCTION

(TV) Gormenghast - Steerpike
(TV) The Magnificent Ambersons - George
(TV) The Tudors - King Henry VIII

(The Governess)

Cat Food

Cat food always smells good to me.

Swee3t Tattoos

Tuesday, June 22, 2010

Surf City Hookah Lounge

19092 Beach Blvd
Huntington Beach, CA 92648
(714) 963-0507
Weekdays: 7:00 PM - 2:00 AM
Weekends: 7:00 PM - 3:00 AM

My home away from home Appus Hookah Lounge closed down =( So I went on a mission to find another one. I tried this one on Bixby Rd but it's closed for construction and I went to Exhale, but it's set outside (dress warm!) so I ventured outside of Long Beach, and stumbled upon Surf City in HB. There's enough couches and chairs (more than Appus), if you want a hookah experience fit for royalty, go to Hollywood to pay $19.99 per hookah, but if you don't mind a few holes in the couch you're sitting on, then this is your spot. I haven't seen any myself, but they do have bellydancers (but I think that's before 10pm, because I've only been there after 10pm). They have over 60 flavors, I've had the Peach and the Passion Kiss (I think it's called that), I liked them both but preferred Passion Kiss which is an exotic flavor so it's about $2 more. The price range is your usual price range, $10-$16. But why go alone?! So fraction that price, and there you go. There is always music and a few tv screens with music videos playing, you have to be 18+ to get in. The staff is laidback and professional, if it's busy don't expect to get your coals pronto but you get your money's worth. This is my new hookah spot (hoorah! finally).

If this is your first hookah, don't inhale too much, you might get a headache or you might start coughing (cuz it is smoke lol), bring water in your bag. My friend went to smoke hookah with me and she hasn't had any in a long time so she couldn't stop coughing, her deal was she was anticipating all that smoke to make her cough, but if she just opened her throat and not thought about it, she would have been fine. Cuz I didn't smoke hookah for almost a year and I was fine and this lounge is next to a lot of food places and is about 5-8 minutes from the 405.

I also read sometimes it's a nightclub so check out the myspace page, cuz usually the nightclub info are on myspace pages of businesses. myspace.com/surfcityhookah


Ever wanted to know how to get those black X marks off your hand when you go out?

Before you go, put clear nail polish on your skin, then when you get inside just wash it off and the X comes right off.

Mozart and the Whale

Just bought this DVD today, I saw it last year though. Thought it was worthy of adding to my collection.

Waist Training

Still waiting for this woman to reply back to my e-mail.

I think I might have to find another corset to buy.


I want my corset already.

I've been wanting to waist train for years.


I love Yelp. =)


My Banner!

Create your own banner at mybannermaker.com!
The HTML one.

The code for BBC.


Dark Enchantment

A must-hear song: Eros by Late Night Alumni

Saturday, June 19, 2010

Alpha Dog

I wanna see Alpha Dog now, I love Ben Foster.

Long Beach to Los Angeles

Last night I went to LA with one of my best friends, Amber and we just went there to try and find something to do. I guess her guy friend told her to come to the nightclub, Arena. I told her that club is expensive but we were already walking and it was past midnight. We ended up walking for an hour, because a cool minute to him is apparently slang for A LONG FUCKIN TIME and he gave us wrong directions, so we had to backtrack a little. We ended up never going to Arena, he instead picked us up from a liquer store. Amber was irritated because we ended up not doing shit in LA, but I wasn't irritated because I can have fun getting lost in LA as long as I'm with a best friend, I don't need alcohol, parties, or guys to make my night complete. And yeah my feet hurt, but I wore boots so the heel wasn't that big and after you get lost in New York in high heels because your mother says the place you're going to is "right around the corner"... getting lost in Los Angeles in 3 inch heels don't really bother you.

I also went out with my other best friend Daysha, we kept it local and went to 2nd street. But drama followed us, like always. Me and her are going out again tonight, we planned on going to this Metro nightclub in LA but I don't feel like driving there again and trying to find parking, again. I might have to look for another place for us to go, someplace else. My desire to return to Los Angeles after not being there for 6 months is gone, after walking around LA for an hour this morning.


I know my photoshoot idea isn't THAT out there, there's no way I'm too controversial or offensive in the art world, there's no way. But I cannot get a girl to have that written on her, maybe the contract bit scares them, it's not like she's gonna sign her life away to me, just so I can one day try to submit it to an art gallery without getting a phone call from her lawyer the next day, that's all that's for. People get on my nerves.


I got over using Twitter, people say ignorant shit on there and other dumbasses wanna retweet them lol, and it's just like the new myspace, nothing but drama. And I was getting irritated so I deleted that mess. Yuck.

Tuesday, June 15, 2010


I recently had a photoshoot and I had this idea with paint and I wanted to write Faggot on him, nothing to do with him actually being gay, he just offered to do a shoot with me, I would have written faggot on anyone. I do have an idea of painting CUNT on a girl, maybe BITCH too, REDNECK on a white person, NIGGER on a black person. And just have the photos lined up next to each other. Just how society paints descriptions on people, and also how those same people believe those descriptions. Just like the gay person who believes he/she's a faggot, that girl who believes she's a cunt, that black person who believes he/she's a nigger, that white person who believes he/she's a redneck. The whole idea is, basically we, being those labeled by society, are actually taking that figurative paintbrush and labeling ourselves. That's the whole idea for this photoshoot.


Podcasts were introduced to me by my mom. I recently subscribed to Ricky Gervais, that show is hilarious. I watched a stand up once, it wasn't that funny, but I've seen him in movies and he's hilarious. Maybe it was just that one show, that didn't tickle my funny bone.

I also subscribed to NASA. When I was little my dad used to always look at the sky through his telescope. At our old apartment there was this staircase that led to the roof and people rarely went up there, I don't think they would have went up there unless there was a bigass sign saying, You Can Be Up Here, but there wasn't.... My dad used to always be up there, looking up at the sky, at the planets and constellations and such, and I would go up there because I knew if he wasn't in our home then he was on the roof, and he would have hot tea or something and I would bring a big blanket and just sit up there with him and he would let me look through his telescope.

I also have Eddie Izzard's London show on my iTunes.

<3 Gotta love podcasts.

Darwin's Flaw

I'm afraid I have to disagree with Charles Darwin, on his theory of "survival of the fittest". Because too many weaklings have survived. Probably that theory worked millions of years ago, but I think that theory stopped a very long time ago. It's more likely to be survival of the cleverest or survival of the cowards who hide from the fittest....

If Darwin's theory was correct and still is correct, then people with weak immune systems and sickness should have been taken out by now, and so on. I think half of life is chance, you're lucky to be alive, you're not the fittest, you just weren't in the wrong place at the wrong time.

Sunday, June 13, 2010


Each friend has something that the next friend does not. I've always been the one that somebody could tell their deepest, darkest secret too.

My Best Friend's.... Graduation


Marching Band (behind the scenes)

best tv scene - walter vs. poptarts (Fringe)

Thursday, June 10, 2010

So Blind

I tried to let you down easy

I didn’t lead you astray with lies,

But you didn’t wanna listen to me.

All I can say is you were blind with love

A kind of love I didn’t have for you,

I should have left you with just a bruised heart.

I’m sorry for staying so long

In this fest of a fantasy,

It wasn’t my world, so I didn’t add to it.

Defenses are up, sympathy is down

How many times, how many times,

Do I have to apologize cuz you were too blind to see?

I’m sorry for staying in your fantasy,

But your ears were closed,

Your eyes looked the other way.

I know you saw that number

Of that other dude from the club,

Written on a note in my pocket.

I treated you right

Up til the point you just denied,

The love was never there.

Defenses are up, sympathy is down

How many times, how many times,

Do I have to apologize cuz you were too blind to see?

I confessed I cheated,

I thought this ruse was through,

But you were just too damn blind to see.

I’m not sorry

You found me in bed with that other man,

I’m not sorry

I didn’t come home til late in the morning,

I’m not sorry

I didn’t always pick up my phone,

I’m not sorry

I didn’t accept your ring.

You can’t be that surprised

After all the signs I left you,

After all the times I told you,

The love ain’t there.

Wednesday, June 9, 2010

Stained Glass

I've been having these crazy, colorful, wacky ideas lately =D

I'm not satisfied with just taking photographs, so I've thought of a way to blend photography, paint, colorful foil, and stained glass into the picture..... pun intended.

My first photo is an old portrait I did of my best friend (FFF) Liz, Elizabeth Romero. It is black and white, so it won't be so expensive to do, but it won't be any less fun either.

(I should be studying my bartending flashcards, but instead am sitting here thinking of art).

I have yet to decide what to do with the foil, should I put it on top, behind, or collage it somehow...

Anyways, I'm excited about my current aspirations <3.

Photoshoot Rough Draft

I have a photoshoot set up with my friend/fashion designer/model Marc Coronado on Monday the 14th. We are going to be doing two photoshoots, one is his idea and the other is MY idea. I'm excited because I haven't done anything like this in a while =) Since 2008! I'm only going to have to buy a small can of black paint. And then I will be all set =)

"Antimalware Doctor" (bad medicine)

Antimalware Doctor decided to attack MY computer, so I got alll these pop ups and I knew it was bullshit from the start. I looked online and googled for like an hour telling me how to remove it manually but mostly it was, "download this antispyware" because deleting it manually was "too hard". I was like, fuck it. I downloaded one of them, I forgot which it was. I think it was from 2-viruses.com or something like that, and it didn't do anything to my computer it just required you to buy the program before it actually removed the threats. SOOO I uninstalled that and tried to remove it manually. I read that you have to go into your task manager (press alt+ctrl+del) and so I went into Processes and found two things that actually said antimalware (a smart virus wouldn't name itself for you...I know this) so I was looking for other things that looked suspicious, and BAM the 2 things i deleted popped back up again. I deleted those proccess trees about 4 times before I was like fuck this shit! I went into applications, when that little antimalware box was still on the bottom on my computer and i right clicked it (in the applications) and it gave u an option to go directly to that process, so i did and ofcourse it wasn't named antimalware, it was setupupdater0000.exe. So I deleted that along with the other two, they didn't pop up again. So then I went into my registry (you go to your start and in the search bar type regedit, and click the Registry Editor. First I deleted HKEY_CURRENT_USER\Software\Antimalware Doctor Inc\Antimalware Doctor. (You click the HKEY_CURRENT_USER folder, then the Software folder, etc). Then I deleted HKEY_CURRENT_USER\Software\Microsoft\Windows\CurrentVersion\Uninstall\Antimalware Doctor. And the site I was looking at (http://www.removevirus.org/antimalware-doctor.html) told me to delete HKEY_CURRENT_USER\Software\Microsoft\Windows\CurrentVersion\Run "Antimalware Doctor.exe". But I clicked both Run folders and I didn't see that ANYWHERE. So all the while I have my control panel up where you uninstall programs and as well you know when you try to click uninstall antimalware doctor, it won't let you so with each thing i delete i try to uninstall it (to see if it works) and the pop up no longer comes up but now it's saying that i have to finish changing the program, so lightbulb goes off in my head and instead I go into the same Run folder and look for that setupupdater0000.exe file and I find it and I delete that. Then I go into my Programs and click uninstall and it says the program has already been uninstalled and disappears. Haven't had a pop up since.

Friday, June 4, 2010


A slut is somebody, male or female, who has sex with a whole bunch or random people thinking it's going to get them somewhere or to give the other person pleasure (like you don't have sex with them cuz UR horny).

If you have sex a lot because YOU wanna get some (AND!! you don't get their by lying to them, such as "I'll love you, or I'll leave my wife for you) you're not a slut, you're a Samantha! lol, but seriously, that doesn't make you a slut. The only time you can be labeled a "Playa" is when you and your buddies are keeping score.

A bitch (not a mean person you wanna slap) is different from a woman. If you're not a dirtyass bitch, you shouldn't turn your head or get offended because THEY AREN'T TALKING TO YOU! That's why I don't get offended, because I'm not one. A bitch, is like a slut but she comes with an owner.